Jack and Elliot walk down the street in downtown somewhere. It is the middle of the day and the sky is overcast and everything is dark and grey. Jack is in his mid-twenties, dark hair and dark features, tall, wears a tie and a nice suit most of the time, and is smoking a cigarette. His friend and roommate Elliot is very average joe looking, shorter and less dark looking then Jack. They are both the same age. He has short light brown hair and genuinely looks cheerful and nonchalant compared to Jack. It is cold outside and the tall buildings are trapping in the air. They both look freezing.
Suddenly Elliot's eyes get big and he snaps his fingers.
Holy shit Jack, I completely forgot to tell you!!
What?
Jay Grinnings died last night.
Jay? Shit man, your shitting me. What happened?
Fucking drug overdose, what do you think.
What did he overdose on?
I don't know. I know he was into oxys real band for a long time.
Jack puff his cigarette and somberly shakes his head.
That's a real shame. Jay was a goofy fuck but he was a nice guy.
Yeah I know. Remember when he got suspended for throwing pudding at the lunch monitor?
Yeah that was some funny shit.
You know what is going to be really shitty?
Huh.
Jamie Ormes just broke up with him a couple months ago.
Oh jesus christ.
Yup. I can't wait to hear this drama parade.
Oh dear lord. She is going to milk every ounce of sympathy she can from it.
We will never hear the end of it.
Fucking Jamie. Never liked her.
Anyway Greg called me and said they are all getting together tonight at his house for a little party for him.
I guess I should show up. All of the people that live there are so fucking shady.
I know, but hey, we grew up with these guys.
Well fuck, how much money do you got on you Elliot?
I got about 7 bucks and some change.
Perfect! I got 7 bucks!
What are you saying?
We can get a ten dollar bottle of cheap tequila and some beer and go to this party and get fucking hammered.
Ugh. Why tequila? Why the worst of the worst?
Where is the nearest liquor store?
There is no liquor store downtown.
Shit.
We are going to have to cross the bridge. It's cheaper over there any way.
What time is that party?
I don't know, I think people have been there all day.
Ok, let us go get some devil sauce and celebrate the short and sad life of our friend Jay.
***
The two walk and walk across the city. The wind is cutting their skin to pieces with its frigidness. They cross a huge bridge that leads them into another state. They are the only ones on the bridge besides a homeless man walking the opposite direction. He is very old and dirty and he is pushing a shopping cart. When Jack and Elliot get close to the man he blocks the walkway with his cart. He smiles a big wide toothless smile. His eyes are blood red for some reason. Jack and Elliot just stare at him without much of a reaction.
Excuse me sir, could you please get the fuck out of the way. Jack snaps.
The old man tips his head back and laughs.
You boys see the death rattle more than any other jack rabbit can jump!
The man starts shaking his arms and legs in some weird vibrating dance.
Man, listen, we need to get some fuckin booze. We don't have time for your crazy. And we don't have any change.
The old man is humming and vibrating his arms and legs and doing a weird vibrating dance in a circle. Elliot tries to move his cart and the man stops it with his foot.
The old man starts singing.
Oh lord gonna come back from the sun, lord gonna make us number one, the child of the dark will be unborn, and dance with the until the resurrection is worn!
Jack lets out an annoyed grunt.
The only thing worse than a crazy is a bible beating crazy. Man, get the fuck out of the way!
Jack takes the cart and pushes it towards the man. He knocks him down. They both rush over to help him.
Jesus I didn't mean to hurt the guy...
Jack and Elliot help the smiling man get up. The man is still singing all the while.
Oh lord tell the children don't be afraid, let them watch their brothers arise from pain, and the hollow man who dances will sing, lord let your love and light shall bring!
Jack and Elliot watch the man for a few seconds more, both shrug and walk past him. Elliot shakes his head.
That is so sad.
Poor fuck.
***
The man stops dancing when they walk away. He smiles even wider and takes out an old cowboy hat from his cart. He watches the two walk off the bridge and out of sight. He gives them a salute and nods his head. The old man, still smiling, jumps on top of the rail that separates the bridge and the river. He joyously jumps off it to his death.
***
They get off the bridge and cross the street to the cheap and clunky looking liquor store. Elliot says that he can't believe it.
Why not? How many people do we know have died from the same shit around here?
I know but it still kind of bums me out.
I don't know, I guess I sort of got numb about it.
Oh fuck!
What?
I bet Jenny will be there tonight!
Damn I haven't seen her in a long time.
She has been sending me emails and shit. I think she wants me back. Me and her never ended on bad terms.
So I guess you are so upset by Jay's death that you are going to hook up with some girl you used to go out with at his memorial party?
Yeah why not? Isn't that what Jay would of wanted?
***
They walk into the liquor store and scan the bottom shelf, where all of the cheap shit is. Jack finds a cheap bottle of tequila and goes Ah Ha! This shall do the trick! Go over there and grab a six pack, will ya?
Elliot crosses the store and passes the register desk, where an overweight and bearded guy is stomping on something on the ground. He looks up at Elliot, who has stopped to stare at him, stops stomping for a second, and looks back down and continues. Elliot shrugs and walks over to the beer cooler and pulls out a six pack. He meets Jack at the desk. The fat man ignores them for a few seconds. Jack coughs loudly. The fat man lunges at the register, sweaty, eyes and face looking like some caged animal.
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?
Jack doesn't flinch. Or seem to care about the sweaty outburst. Elliot's eyes get big.
I want you to ring me out my fucking booze.
FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER.
Hey, there is no need for that.
I WILL FUCK WHAT I WANT.
Ok...
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING? YOU AND YOUR FAGGOT FRIEND FUCK HIM TOO!
Elliot looks offended.
Hey don't call me a faggot!
Wow this crazy bastard is perceptive.
Elliot punches Jack in the arm. Jack chuckles and punches him back. The man behind the counter yells even louder.
DON'T FUCKING HURT EACH OTHER IN HERE! DON'T TOUCH HIM.
The two guys just stare at him blankly. Jack slowly pulls out his cash. Elliot does the same. They both put the money on the counter. Elliot takes the booze and walks out. Jack stays there and stares.
Listen bud, all of the money is there. You can keep the change. Use it to buy some benadryl or something. You are tweaking the fuck out.
I WILL TELL YOU WHAT.
What?
IT USE TO BE A LOT EASIER AROUND HERE. EVERYTHING DIDN'T USE TO BE SO SAD.
Jack laughs in agreement. I hear that buddy, I hear that. You have a nice day with your stomping and what not.
FUCKING DIE MOTHERFUCKER!
Jack shrugs and walks out and meets Elliot.
***
So how are we getting over to Greg's house?
I don't know. I guess I can drive.
Man that sucks.
Why?
Because I hate it when you drive. You are either worried about driving the whole night so you don't have as good of a time or you get fucking hammered and drive us home and risk our lives. Drunk driving is no good.
Well what do you want to do then, Jack?
I guess you can drive.
I will drink right when I get there and then sober up a couple hours before we leave.
Who knows, maybe I'll end up going home with Jenny.
And leave me to drive home? Fuck.
We will figure it out. You ask too many fucking questions. Jesus, always asking what we are doing and how and what and why and who and shut the fuck up, jesus.
Fine.
They walk back the way they came.
***
They return to their apartment. It is an old house that is split into two sides. Jack and Elliot live on one side while a single business man who reminds them of Ned Flanders lives next to them. His name is Paul and he is outside getting his mail when the guys come home. He smiles a big white yuppie smile and waves very excitedly.
Hey guys? How's it hanging!
Jack ignores him and walks right into the house, leaving Elliot to fend for himself.
Elliot tries to fake a smile but it barely works.
Hey Paul what is up.
Nothing much pal, just getting the mail. These stinking bills, you know what I mean!!
Paul lets out a cheesy laugh that makes Elliot grimace in irritation.
Well all right man you take it easy.
You too! Don't party too hard!
He laughs again.
Elliot all but runs into the house and locks every single lock on the door.
I swear, Jack, that man has a whole fridge full of bodies. He scares the shit out of me!
Jack is on the couch, flipping through the channels.
He is a nice guy. Just a little too, I don't know, enthusiastic.
He is a creepy fucking guy and I am on to him!
Elliot runs up stairs. Jack leans back and flips on the television. There is a show on called Runaway Ankle Destroying Capitalism.
When the going gets tough the heart of the nation gets running. Dance more average, and be more agile!
Fast clips show a horse being whipped by a circus trainer, a monkey throwing feces at tourists at a zoo, little kids sliding down a slide, and a parade with hundreds of elderly veterans.
Jack yawns.
Every year we get closer to our mark, but this year the tide will turn over to America. Invest. Spend. Be. Just Be.
An old man with a nice suit on standing behind a podium. He starts laughing a menacing laugh and his face begins to melt.
Jack changes the channel to a blind dating reality show. He looks at his watch.
***
Elliot is changing his shirt in his room. He stops and looks in the mirror. He sighs a deep and heavy sigh. He starts to think about his friend Jay. He thinks about how he fell out of contact with him, and how long it had been since he had talked to him. Could I have done anything different somewhere along the way, even a little bit, that could of changed the situation for this poor prick?
No, not really. I know what this town means and I know what it is all about. Jay was nice and sweet natured but he was an idiot. He spent 75 percent of his life looking for drugs and then doing drugs. He made his bed and everything, but Jesus. Me and Jack have had to go to at least ten funerals since graduating high school five years ago. Ten of our classmates. Either a car crash or an overdose. Fuck. It happens so often I almost forgot to tell Jack about it. Are we any different in our constant and daily consumption of alcohol?
His eyes start to tear up a little bit. But he shakes his head and smacks his face.
Fuck it.
He charges on downstairs.
You ready to go man?
These blind date shows are so awkward.
Yeah I know. I can't stand shows that make me cringe.
Who would want to put themselves in situations like that?
The doorbell rings. Elliot goes to answer it. Paul is standing there with a six pack. Smiling wide.
Hey guys, just wandering if you wanted to drink a few brews and watch the game tonight?
Um, yeah, well, listen Paul we would love to, but we have to go this thing for a friend of ours. A friend that died.
Oh my Lord, well, I am sorry to hear that. I just thought since you guys are usually over here partying, maybe I could, well nevermind.
Hey man any other night, yeah for sure, but we are kind of on our way out the door.
I bought this beer and I really don't even drink it...
Well we can all drink it another time. Thanks anyway Paul.
Paul smiles and walks back to his front door, slowly and very awkwardly.
Elliot walks back into the living room. Jack asks him what that was all about.
Oh nothing. Stupid Paul wanting to hang out.
That is sad.
Poor fuck.
***
Elliot and Jack pull up to a small house with a lot of people playing beer pong on the front porch. elliot drives an old piece of shit Buick Oldsmobile. He sighs.
What?
Do you ever feel like people around here will use any excuse to throw a party? Jay just died last night. I mean, shouldn't everybody be mourning?
I don't know Elliot, who cares. What else do we have to do tonight? And I thought you were all excited because your crazy ex girlfriend was going to be here, what's her name...
Jenny. I don't care about her anymore
Jack senses that Elliot is depressed. He puts his hand on his shoulder.
Listen man, We are already here, so we have to at least go in. Let's check it out, say hi, talk to a few old friends, and if the place starts to bum you out too much then just come get me and we will leave on the spot, all right?
They have known each other for a very long time. They grew up together and went through a lot of shit between the two of them. Jack is the stronger of the two, and Elliot is prone to depression and impulsive behavior at odd times. Jack knows about Elliot's moods, how he will start talking about the end of the world, death, meaninglessness of life, and other morose things in front of anybody anywhere once he gets it in his head. And while Jack always thinks it is funny, he has had to save Elliot's ass more than a few times.
So buck up buddy, come on, we have death to mourn and tequila to drink!
Jack slaps Elliot on the back of the head.
All right fuck it let's go.
***
They walk up to porch and are greeted with a variety of JACK!! and ELLO ELLO ELLO!!!. They exchange hugs and handshakes for a good five minutes before they even make it in to the front door. The people there are various ages, mostly very young girls right out of high school.
Jack walks in first and the first thing he sees is Jamie, in the living room, weeping on the couch, with a crowd of her girlfriends surrounding her. She is holding a picture of Jay and caressing it with her finger. Her girlfriends rub her back and massage her shoulders and do what they can to appear 'there for her'. Jack thinks the whole scene looks disgusting. Jamie has always been nothing but a drama whore, and every tragedy or event that happens around this small town she finds a way to include herself into it.
Elliot walks up beside Jack and examines the scene as well.
I fucking told you. She is already milking it. I bet you five dollars she stops the party to give a big speech later on.
There is no way I am betting against that.
They walk into the kitchen where their friend Greg is fake swinging a baseball bat around for some pretty girls, trying to tell him how good his swing is, although it is obvious he has never played a sport in his life. His eyes light up when he sees the two.
Jack! Elliot! What the fuck is up guys?
He gives both of them big hugs. He is a skinny guy with long hippy hair and hippie clothes. He throws the bat down on the floor.
Man it's a bummer all have to meet up like this, but its rad to see you guys!
Elliot takes the tequila bottle out of Jack's hands, opens it, and starts chugging it like its water. Jack grabs it from him, pouring tequila down Elliots shirt. Elliot doesn't seem to notice or care. He grimaces in pain from the nasty cheap liquor. It is a quick and awkward scene. Jack smiles at Greg, who seems concerned about Elliot's behavior.
Yeah it's nice to see you too, Greg. Our friend Elliot here is just having a rough time dealing with things, you know.
Yeah man I feel ya. I thought, what would Jay want more than his dudes getting fucked up celebrating his life. You know how Jay was, ya know?
Elliot grabs a beer off the table and starts drinking it. Jack keeps talking to Greg.
Yeah I know. It is a real shock. You want to do a shot?
For sure man!
***
Elliot, Jack, Greg, and two young girls with their boobs popping out do a shot of tequila. And then another one. The party gets louder and drunker. In two hours time half of the bottle is gone. Elliot lightens up a little bit. Jack and Greg flirt with the two girls. Greg keeps trying too hard, and both of the girls are all over Jack.
Elliot is on the front porch playing beer pong when a females voice calls his name from behind.
Hey Elliot!
He turns around and it is Jenny, his ex. She is there with another guy, a guy Elliot knows and can't stand, Robert.
Hey Jenny what is up?
They exchange an awkward hug. Elliot shakes Rob's hand.
Rob how have you been?
Rob sighs. He is a very smart hipster type of guy whose sole purpose is compare how smart he is with everybody. Elliot has been looking for a reason to dislike this kid for years and now he found one.
Oh I guess I could be better, I am in my third year of English Literature and it really takes its toll, I am also..
No one gives a shit Rob.
Excuse me?
You guys want some fucking tequila?
Elliot grabs Jenny by her arm and drags her inside. Rob is left outside, confused and fuming.
Elliot drags her into the dining room table where the tequila has been moved to. Her pours two shots. Jenny smiles at him, a smile that is both angry and attracted.
That was rude.
I didn't know you and fucking Poindexter were an item, you forgot to mention that!
We are not dating, we have just been hanging out.
I hate that fucking guy.
You are drunk. And you are an asshole.
They both take their shots.
I was excited to see you, Jenny says.
Yeah I could tell by those emails.
Well don't get any ideas. I am here with Rob.
That fucking guy...
Don't be rude. He is my friend.
How can any woman date a fucking guy like that? with the smarminess and the snobbiness and the always talking about fucking books...
You love books.
But I don't talk about it all the time!
He reminds me of you sometimes, if you want to know the truth.
Oh fuck, why did you have to say that? Oh god.
He takes another swig from the bottle.
You are really drunk aren't you?
I am fucking working on it.
Jenny leans in and gives him a kiss on the cheek.
We will sit down and talk soon, ok? There is a lot that I want to say. I need to get back to Rob.
She leaves Elliot standing alone in the dining room. He smiles a bittersweet smile. Jack comes in, who is a lot more drunk then Elliot, surprisingly.
What was that about?
Jenny came with Rob.
Jack throws his beer bottle against the wall, shattering it.
What? That's it I am kicking his ass, I have wanted to kick his ass since he told on me for kicking him the balls in second grade, that motherfucker.
Nah, don't worry about it, it's ok.
Fuck you Mr. Positive! When we got here you were all 'aww i am going to cut my wrists waaa waaa' and now its all another, um way. fuck you!
You want another shot?
Yes fuckin sir!
***
As the boys finish their shots, Jamie calls everyone into the living room.
Everybody! Everybody outside! I have a few things I would like to say!
Jack and Elliot look at each other and both try to grab the bottle at the same time.
People slowly and quietly fill up the living room. Everyone looks high or drunk out of their minds. Jack and Elliot jump over the couch to sit on it. Jamie is standing right in front of them. There is already a person sitting at the end of the couch, and he has a hood up and his face cannot be seen. He is rocking back and forth.
Elliot is sitting closest to him. Elliot looks at the guy and gives him a drunk what the fuck look. He whispers to Jack.
Who is this guy sitting next to me?
Jack leans over and looks at the guy. Dark hoodie, rocking back and forth. Jack shrugs.
It looks like he is about to puke. I would be careful. Don't get to close.
Everyone sits down in the living room. Jamie is the only one standing and she loves it. She talks in between sniffles.
I don't know what to say, but this is the hardest thing i have ever have to go through...
She starts weeping. One of her friends stands up.
No, it's ok, I can do this.
The hooded kid sitting next to Elliot starts shaking his shoulders in small jerky motions. Only Elliot notices. He takes another sip and looks uneasy.
Jay was a great guy. He was sweet and caring. And the last couple months I spent with him have been the best time of my...of my...life...I miss him so much!
The man in the hoodie shakes a little more violently. Elliot can't tell if he is having a seizure or dancing, or both. Other people start to notice this. Jamie keeps going.
Jay! I know you can hear me! I miss you! Why did you have to go! I remember the time you rode your...
The kid in the hoodie stands up. His whole body starts convulsing and shaking, as if he has no bones what so ever. The hood falls down.
Someone from the other side of the room screams. Elliot and Jack stand up quicker then god. Everybody stands up quicker then god. Someone yells.
OH MY GOD THATS JAY!
Jay Grinning, who died about 24 hours earlier, is dancing and shaking in front of everybody. His face is a detached smirk, no really grinning and not really frowning, some blank face that no one has ever seen before. His skin looks a little pale, but other than that he looks the same as he did before he passed. Long hair, little goatee, skinny. He is convulsing and shaking and dancing and moving closer to Jamie.
Elliot, horrified, runs behind the safest place he knows, Jack. Elliot hides behind his friend in an almost cartoonish moment of terror. Jamie is speechless. Some people run outside, others stay, too shocked to move. Jay keeps on doing his dance, his joints looking like there is no bone or muscle, just jello like limps flailing about.
Jack surveys the scene. He is freaked out but not frozen. He grabs the bottle from Elliot and chugs it back, and runs out into the kitchen. Elliot screams.
JACK DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ME YOU FUCKING COWARD, JACK JACK FUCK!!
Jay stops walking and the convulsing gets worse. He just stands and shakes so hard that it is clear that he is not human anymore.
Jack rushes out of the kitchen with Greg's baseball bat. Without even a moments of hesitation, Jack jumps over the couch and lands on the other side nailing the baseball bat into Jays back. He goes down and starts laughing a mutant warped laugh. He keeps doing his shaking dance. Jack lets out a battle cry.
FUCK YOU ZOMBIE BOY!
Jack bring the bat down and crushes Jay's skull. At this point, everybody has ran outside in horror. Everyone but Elliot, who just stands there with his mouth on the floor. Jack starts bashing and hits him over and over again the there is brain chunks and skull matter everywhere. Finally, after about 2 minutes of nonstop bashing, Jay stops shaking. Jack is bloody and out of breath.
Him and Elliot look at each other, asking each other what the fuck with their silent expressions. Jack throws the bat down, goes back into the kitchen, returns with the bottle of almost gone tequila, downs another shot, throws it to Elliot, who in turn downs another shot. Elliot throws the bottle at the bloody zombie alien corpse of their dead friend, Jay. Jack asks Elliot, Are you ready to get the fuck out of here?
End, Part One
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